Self Doubt

At the beginning of the year, I was not making resoultions, I was making goals. One of my goals was to run a 5K. I found one at the end of March that I was interested in. I began the C25K program. At the beginning, I could not run/jog for more then 4-5 minutes. 10 weeks later, I can run for 35minutes straight. The longest I have ran is a little over 3 miles in 34ish minutes. Is that fast? NO. Is that my goal to be fast? NO. I'm not running a 5K to win. I'm running to finish. I'm running to prove to myself that I CAN do it. I'm doing it because I NEVER thought I would be able too.

For the past 10 weeks. I have felt amazing. Not just physically but mentally. The first time (and the only time) I ran 3 miles, I nearly cried. I still see myself as that 225lb fat girl, and that girl would NEVER be able to run 3 miles. But you know what? I'm not that fat girl anymore, and sometimes we have to squish that little voice. That little voice has been a pain in my ass the past week and a half.

As my 5K is creeping up this Saturday. That little voice in my head, is making me have self doubt. Can I do this? You know you are going to have to walk. You haven't got enough runs in( do to illness) You have only ran 3 miles ONCE in your entire life, can you do it again? As much as this little voice makes me want to throw in the towel. I know this little voice is wrong. I CAN do this and I will DO this. There is two things I want to accomplish, 1. I want to finish. 2. I don't want to walk. If that means slowing my jog down to the pace of a snail, or crawling on my hands and knees. I WILL not walk.

Sometimes we just have to learn, to show that "little voice" who is boss, and that is EXACTLY what I plan on doing this Saturday.