Frustrated

Wow. I am frustrated with myself & with my weight loss. Since last August I have lost 15lbs. Yah 15 pounds right? I'm glad that it's gone, but frustrated I am not at goal yet. I swear 170 is like running in to a brick wall. I can't get over it. I will drop a few pounds under it, just to go right back to it the next week. I know a lot of it is my fault. I am use to being able to splurge a little and lose weight. But the closer I get to goal the more of that I can not do. I know that I do not look bad at the weight that I am at, but I feel like I do. I am not happy with the way my body is at this weight.

I know how to eat right, I love to exercise, so what in the hell is holding me back? I can't seem to put my finger on it. I am getting to the point where I feel like I will never make it to my goal weight. That I should just be happy where I am. But the only problem with that is I am not happy. Then I feel like a lot of my frustrations is because I can't run. That is the ONLY way I know how to get rid of stress, and I can't do it for another 3 weeks at least (and it has already been 4.5 weeks) and honestly I don't feel like my knee is getting any better, maybe a little. Part of me wants to just go for a run, and bare the pain, but my conscious tells me I am an idiot if I do that.

Sometimes I wonder if I just don't want it bad enough. I mean if I did, I would JUST DO IT, right? Thanks for letting me get this off my chest, I feel a little better. Any tips on how to get out and over this rut would be appreciated.